Today I let go.

If you've read this blog long enough you'll understand that I'm a big believer in instinct. Whenever someone has a problem I always tell them to follow their 'gut'. What if your 'gut' has 'sh*t for brains' (High Fidelity Reference)?  It likely doesn't.

If you're gut is telling you to do what anyone else would think is a bad decision, chances are your instincts are telling you that you have a lesson to learn.  So learn it.

Jump in with both feet. Live a big life. No one is going to live it for you.

If you aren't willing to get your hands dirty then you're not going to come out with a whole lot of.. whatever it is you're looking for at the end of it all.

And boy, do I know what that's like.

Today I let go. I gave my final seal of approval on the end of a project for my new record "When The Curtain Falls." As of Monday it will be mastered and all done. All gone. Bye bye.

How do I feel about the new record? Ask me in a year or two. That's when I really know.

It's been two years since I released my first record and I feel pretty damn happy about it now then it felt stupid, amateur and dumb.  That's what I told myself anyway.

Today I'm proud of that record.

But it takes time to appreciate your own work, no matter what field you toil in.

When you start out you have to have the keen understanding that your early work isn't going to be awesome, amazing or outstanding.  You have to comprehend that you are working towards something. And the worst thing you can do for yourself is nothing - nada - zilch - zip. Idle hands are the devils work and all that.

It's true. It doesn't always feel like that though, that ones work is improving... but you have to believe that all the pieces fall together and inevitably will be something worth while.

Relationships are like that. Jobs are like that. Everything is like that. You go into something, your instinct tells you to be there, even though nothing makes sense, it's just a bunch of chaos and you just hope to pull it together or hope that if it falls apart it will do so in the most polite sincere manner.

Either way, you're winning.

Now for some Scandinavian disco dance punk.
Hit it.

Keep it for your own.

Mad dash to the finish line. Spending every night this week mixing, getting the levels just right, so this record will be done on time.

It makes me a sleepy girl. It all reminds me how important intuition is. Don't doubt it. I learned long ago not to over think your art. You generally know what you like and don't like. It makes things easier for me, when I've made things harder it always circles back to what I liked in the first place. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Now it's little things, like finishing the album art work, doing the liner notes, connecting the dots, being a bit silly... all things I excel at. 

Lots of decisions to be made, then bigger decisions, and sleep, and clarity, and sleep again. 

Working with loads of talented people by day and by night. Feeling a bit spoiled with my inner network, but I like it. 

Sun is shining, but right now the moon is hanging.

Time to hit the road again.

Vroom, vroom and all that.

Caught in the middle.

It's a long weekend here in Canada and it couldn't any more full of unexpected twists and turns.

As I am now about 7 days away from having the third record complete, I am a bit nervous.  Everything has been recorded and it's time for mixing. Making sure everything 'sits right' is easier said than done. Hoping that all performances (particularly my own) are up to snuff.

Continuing my dislike for studios, I recorded my vocals in my parents closet.  Perfectly padded wall to wall with clothes, it was fairly ideal.

While I was recording Charlie waiting outside the door and half way through I went out to notice he had chewed a big bloody wound in his leg.  Being late and a Saturday I tried to get him a cone.  For the remainder of the session I had him beside me, and in some takes you can hear me snapping my fingers to get his attention to stop chewing at his leg.

Mojo got coned. He was a good sport about it and felt much better.

I got him to the vet to find out (prepare to go EWWW) his anal glands needed draining. Fun times for Charlie. On top of some nasty allergies, and some premature fireworks he wasn't having a good weekend.

My Mojo before the vet. Not happy.

The following day I was dropping off something of his, when I got caught in the middle of police pursuit and a very high, scary individual tried to carjack me.  It happened in the span of ten seconds and the police took him down right away.  Needless to say people ALWAYS keep your doors locked, even in nice suburban neighbourhoods. This would have been the least likely place I would have expected something like this to happen. HURRAY for safety locks! And police officers!

Moving forward... I tried to go out that night but plans kept falling through, and shifting, everything eventually worked out... just an odd weekend. If you've ever had to miss a friends birthday and only speak to them through cracks in a fence because line ups to patios are so crazy in the city,  then you know you're having an off weekend. Oh and carjacking and all that too.

The next two weeks should be interested.  The album cover HAS BEEN CHOSEN. As has the first single which should be released by July.

So all is well in the world... for now ;)

Charlie's surgery is on Saturday and the album should be finished by Monday. if you'd like to pitch in with any of the costs and get some cool stuff you can do so here:

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I WANT TO MAKE GOOD LIFE CHOICES.

Ever been insanely busy but incredibly quiet? I have. 

It's not that I'm laying low, it's just the way things feel, quiet, drama free (for me anyways), kind of just keeping things stable as can be (for me anyways).

Some serious decisions to make in June. 

I'm not looking forward to it and I'm not not looking forward to it.

Catch my drift?

I know of a little kid, maybe 4 or 5, who acts out a lot. He'll throw food at your face or call you an adult swearword. When he is disciplined he runs away screaming this:

I WANT TO MAKE GOOD LIFE CHOICES.

Can you imagine a 4 year old crying and screaming that?

That's how I feel. Everytime people ask me about my life I just want to scream

I WANT TO MAKE GOOD LIFE CHOICES.

And run away.

Or something like that. 

It's not easy always knowing what is right or wrong, but you kind of have to think of how the end result will make you feel and how you want to feel. Good life choices, they don't always feel good or feel like much. But they can be. 

Plant the seeds in your life for good things. 

Pick good people who make you feel loved, safe and respected. 

Live in a space that makes you feel welcome, secure and comfortable. 

Work that makes you feel like you're a part of something.

If you can have all of that, then I think you've got a pretty darn good life.

Some of us however, are still working on our...

GOOD LIFE CHOICES.

:)

Nobody really cares if you're miserable.

I thought tonight I'd pass on some good advice I received about three years ago when I was having hard time moving forward.

We all get roughed up and can think 'down'. What does that mean? Thinking down is always thinking on the negative. Negative Nancy. Downer Debbie. So forth and so on. I get it, I do, it's easy to spiral into the what went wrong, recounting everything little thing that was said or did that hurt you.

The advice that was given to me was this.

Stop.
Grab a pen and piece of paper.
Write.

And no, don't write about how awful things are and how thinking about the bad stuff is like emotionally chewing tinfoil. Instead take the thing that's REALLY bothering you (admit it to yourself first, of course) and spin it. Pitch it to yourself.  If you were really mad about how some girl left you down in the dumps, crushed your heart, chewed it up and spit out. Write about the opposite. Write about the 'right girl'. What she's like. What she looks like. Yes even her eye color. What makes her cool. Does she bring you cupcakes (I love cupcakes I will reference them where ever possible) does she make you feel like a million dollars when she walks into a room?

Write.

Hate your job? Hate how things are going? Write about your dream job. Write about how it makes you feel, even if you aren't quite sure what your dream job does. It's how you feel that counts.

So if you're having a nasty crap time with things. Write it how you want it to go. Every time you feel the 'poor me's' coming on, just write it out how you want it to play out. No doubt it helps.

Once you know your ups from downs, go in the right direction. No one cares if you're a sorry Sally or a sad Harold.  So why not be happy? :)

Half of them think it's never going to work out, the other half believe in magic.

I'm approximately 2 weeks away from completely my new record "When The Curtain Falls." Oh and how it has fallen. I have no grand overview of how I expect things to go. I do expect unexpected things that I could have never guessed to happen, because... they always do.

I have a tremendous amount of support from the people who read this blog, come to my shows and say really cool things about my music.

I've been "Late July-ing" for three years now. I can hardly believe I'm on record number three, I never thought I'd get through the first one.

My champion has been the great Adrian Ellis, who has been nothing short of a miracle worker. There are a few times in your life you will meet someone and they will be a game-changer. They are usually wonderful, talented, intelligent people who will do one thing to change your life - believe in you.
Not lie to you, not blow sunshine in your ears, or tell you the sky is purple. No. They will simply see you for who you are, where you are going, and facilitate where they are heading. Those good people, are game-changers. Value you those people in your life. As sad as it is to say, they don't come along often.

We all need to believe a little much. My favorite movie right now is beginners and there is a quote from it that goes:

"Half of them think it's never going to work out, the other half believe in magic."

I'd rather believe in magic than nothing. Why not? Life is full of disappointments, so why not have some fun at it.

Recently several friends in relationships have expressed 'troubles.' Once so wildly in love, now on the brink of total breakdown.

My advice is this: Believe in magic.

I used to be the person who when unhappy, would walk away. I suppose I have no other examples to prove I am no longer like that. But when something good comes your way, be thankful, cherish it. Sure, be wise, don't get hurt, or fooled or lie to yourself. But when you find someone who will show up at 2am to a hospital to be by your side, or bring you a cupcake when you've had a bad day - value you them.
And if things don't work out, if all your cherishing, apprizing and adoration falls on deaf ears, still believe. For every failed relationship, think of it as a once in a lifetime chance to get close to one person on this planet of millions and millions of people. That's pretty special. Sometimes people get it right on the first try, others, get to experience more than one person. And that's pretty unique too.

Just don't give up, see it through. I wish I had taken my own advice so many times *shakes finger at self; accidentally pokes self in eye*

And magic doesn't just apply to relationships. It applies to passion. Game-changers can be people. They can be career opportunities. They can be a record. It can be anything.

Just believe that there is something/someone/somewhere out there for you. Trust me, no matter what you are looking for, if you keeping walking in the right direction, all you have to do is keep walking.

Ya dig?

Don't forget I'm still trying to scrap together the end pieces to the record. Feel free to repost or donate here!

Vote on the cover of my new record!

Deciding on the cover album is no easy choice. It's not a matter of what looks good but also what represents the music and of course that 'wow' factor that makes everything feel like it's coming together. So I thought I would put it to some people to vote. I didn't bother with text placement since that's a whole other ballpark on it's own. 

Shot in my parents basement, the yellow painting you see is a thrift shop find in Seattle, sometime around the early 90s. Always loved the painting and was happy to make it a part of the photos.

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

So? what's your vote?

Good News & Bad News For Late July

There is good news and there is bad news.

Good news:
The record is almost ready.

Bad news:
I've hit a financial snag.

While I didn't hit my original target when I did fundraising this winter, I was hoping to just go out of pocket with the record. The support has been wonderful and just because we don't get what we want, doesn't mean we can't make it happen.

The money I had allotted out of my personal savings is going to go towards Charlie's unexpected surgery.  Vet bills are costly and while I used to have insurance for him, he had too many prior illnesses it precluded his coverage.  It's left things in a stressful state.

When it rains it pours right?

Right.  So I thought I'd put this out into the universe. I know some people didn't get to donate when they wanted to, and this time I've added a twist. Anyone who donates $50 or more will get their name on the liner notes!

It's also your chance to buy a pre-release copy of the record and more. And those who donated I am mailing out all your goodies once the record is completed - and yes, you will get them!

So dear universe, help a songstress who wants to do nothing but make and listen to good music in her life. Oh and hug her dog. So click below and if you can't donate, will you repost for me ? :)

It's also Charlie's birthday today. He's turning 8, and I am hoping to get my Mojo (his newest nickname) healthy and living/loving another 8 years.

*Charlie's first surgery is May 25th by the way, will post updates and hope that biopsies are negative

Intoxicated by the romance of the unusual.

Someone explained men to me tonight: "We don’t know what we want, because we don’t know what we’re feeling. We don’t know what we’re feeling because we don’t know how to interpret emotions. We’re prone to misinterpreting what we’re feeling, what you’re feeling, everything. But the same inability makes us scared."

Don't suffer because of someones indecision. 

This time I might just disappear.

Instead of talking about my record, which is ALMOST done... here's some people I know that influence me. Big time.

I've known some of the Elwins since they were little and brought me mixed CDs to my work.  They were originally Honey For the Bears (reportedly) and I helped them with their first myspace page. Oh how the times changed.

What I bet you didn't know is that I co-wrote the title track "When The Curtain Falls" with the very cool Matthew Sweeney. I hope to write more with him or the band or whatever. They are talented peoples.  Take a listen. Any of there stuff is good. They do these crazy cool videos, and have a quirky sense of humor that will charm your sox back into their drawer, ya dig?

So there's this dude in Texas and I've known him since Gr. 9  He's kind of a bit of an influence on me, sending me music, giving me some serious insider advice and sometimes I just swear at him instead of giving justifiable responses to questions like How are you? or How's your day?  That's just how I roll.  Anyway he's this really talented artist called MYSTERY SKULLS (to be said in an ominous old man voice). And if you have downloaded his EP you should. I've listened to it a bajillion times because I got it long before its release.  Plus it's a dollar. And he really sucks cause even though he's released a killer EP he still writes and puts out random tunes that get better and better. It's mostly why I swear at him so much. So talented. So good. MYSTERY SKULLS y'all. I hope to actually sit down and write a bunch of tunes with him. Would be rad. But for now. Listen: